Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Holy Grail: Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

Tonight is the last night of my work week so it seems only right to wrap up the Holy Grail lunches with a bang ... in the form of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

WAIT! First we need the breakfast cereal and fruit bat!

Get it? Fruit bat?

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five. 
Hard cooked egg grenade with monterey cheese cross and "1, 2, 5"
A little rearranging had to be done in order to get everything to fit all nicely nicely in my Laptop Lunchbox:


  1. Your fruit bat is beyond brilliant. Can I be your best friend?

  2. Best. Lunch. Ever. 1 2 5 cheese is cracking me up.